Novel Adventurers is pleased to welcome our
guest this week, Mary Beth Horiai. Mary Beth has 32 years of
experience living in and around Japan and it's culture. She a has a BA in
Political Science with a Minor in Environmental Studies and a MA in
International Relations. The research for her graduate thesis was on the
challenges and responses to aging societies and declining populations with
Japan as her case study. She is presently working on a personal manuscript
about adjusting to life in an aging world. How will you grow old? Mary Beth has established a not for profit organization that raises funds to assist Yamada families whose lives were impacted by the March 11th tsunami. Visit Renew Yamada or Mary Beth's personal blog, Driver of Change for more information.
My husband, Toshiaki, and I have been married nearly 27 years. Today, it's hard to believe that both sets of parents were not so thrilled about this union at the beginning.
My husband, Toshiaki, and I have been married nearly 27 years. Today, it's hard to believe that both sets of parents were not so thrilled about this union at the beginning.
Our upbringings were so very different. His mom
and her nine sisters were rice farmers in Northern Japan, and his dad was a
lumberman. Their hometown of Yamada is one the many rural fishing villages located
250 miles north of Tokyo on the very coastline recently destroyed by the March
11, 2011 tsunami. Toshiaki’s diet growing up consisted
of what was caught by his brothers from the nearby sea and what was grown on
their land.
I had a middle-class, American upbringing. My
father was an executive in Los Angeles and my mother was a Leave it to Beaver housewife. My mother was
always curious about my in-laws. Once while my daughter was admiring my mom’s high-heeled shoes, my
mother innocently asked Miki whether her grandmother in Japan, her obaachan,
wore high heels. Miki diplomatically
replied, "Grandma, this is America. Japan is Japan."
Our whole married life, I have wanted my family,
especially my mom, to meet Toshiaki's family, or at least his mom. We have
tried for many years to get Obaachan to agree to make the journey to the
States, to no avail. I still hold out hope for my mother to visit Yamada
someday, but the tsunami has changed the landscape in so many ways. While the
homes of Toshiaki's parents and his three brothers are all on high ground and were
not damaged, the majority of Yamada was washed away and still remains flattened
and unchanged. Minus of course, scattered mountainous piles of random household
trash and tall weeds and sunflowers growing where homes and small businesses once
stood.
Toshiaki and Obaachan |
Later in the evening, another sister-in-law,
Miwako, brought over additional dishes to add to the feast. The women knew that
their husbands (my brothers in-laws), would all gather tonight to catch up with
Toshiaki and their parents. Over the years, I have found my groove among the
Horiai women. Somehow it was understood that I was excused from any cooking
duties (phew), and I have gratefully settled into the role of setting the table
with an assortment of tiny dishes then handling the washing and clearing
afterwards.
After somewhat of a peaceful night’s rest (with only two mini-quakes
to wake us), we woke to sounds of roosters squawking and people chattering.
Obaachan and her 90-year-old sister, Setsuko, were downstairs in the kitchen.
Setsuko usually made her rounds in the afternoon, but it was too miserably hot
to walk around that August day. She knew we were visiting, and 6:30 am seemed
as good a time as any to drop by to welcome us.
While Toshiaki and I joined them for a breakfast
of fish, pickled vegetables, miso soup, and rice, it occurred to me what time
it was in the States. I quickly contacted my mom via e-mail to set up a time to
Skype then tried to explain the technology to my in-laws. They were intrigued
and agreed to journey next door to Kazuko's Wi-Fi’d house.
As my mom's bright face and excited voice
entered the room, she could see two sun-drenched farmer women shuffle into
seats facing the screen. My sister, Meighan, stood beside my mom and Toshiaki,
his brother, Satoshi and Kazuko, popped in behind Obaachan and Setsuko. At
first, they all just smiled at each other, both sides commenting in their own
language on how beautiful and young-looking their counterparts were. After I
made all the introductions, we ventured into the three topics older people all
over the globe hold dear: health, weather, and grandchildren. After we
established all of their ages and when they recently stopped riding bicycles
(late 70s for Obaachan and Mom, and 86 for super-Aunt Setsuko), we discussed
weather conditions on both sides of the Pacific. There was a pause, where we
all took in the incredibleness of the moment.
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ReplyDeleteOh, I just love this beautiful piece, Mary Beth! Thanks so much for giving us a peek into your amazing family. Look forward to learning more about Japan through you.
ReplyDeleteAnd a question--my kids are clambering to visit Japan, but we hesitate because of the widespread affecds of radiation in the food and water supplies. What's your take on that, and how do you navigate those challenges when traveling there with your own kids?
Great question Supriya, with no easy answer. The radiation levels are a concern for parents with small children, especially living in the Fukushima area. However, all the major foreign embassies have endorsed the system put in place by, the Japanese government to track the levels in food and water. Personally, everything I have read and investigated myself affirms that the food, air and water are still within safe measures. Having said that, if my children were small and living here with us I might make some different choices. It is a conundrum ! More on that later, hopefully. Mary Beth
DeleteDefinitely hopefully. Can't wait to hear more about your experiences, Mary Beth. You're opening us up to a part of Japan I know so little about, please keep it coming.
DeleteMary Beth,
ReplyDeleteThanks for such a lovely post! One of the best things we ever did was to bring my husband's father to the States, where he met my parents and sisters...my father-in-law still talks about that trip. Thanks again!
Thank you Kelly. Yes, we are still hoping for that opportunity, however, this was the next best thing.
DeleteMary Beth, what a beautiful post! I had tears at the end. How wonderful for the in-laws and different generations to finally connect. It is most definitely a memorable experience.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alli. Yes, I am so grateful for advanced technology. I could have never imagined that type of experience even a decade ago. Mary Beth
DeleteMary Beth, this is a lovely glimpse into you life in Japan. Fascinating! Thanks for sharing it with us. Isn't it great to have technology like Skype that can connect families across the world?
ReplyDeleteI agree. Thanks for the opportunity, Heidi. Mary Beth
DeleteMary Beth, what a heart-warming story. Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteIt was therapeutic for me as well. Thanks for reading. Mary Beth
ReplyDelete